A reflection for Parents, Coaches and Players

Good evening to everyone full of joy and light.

I'm not used to and as a matter a fact I never speak about or share my feelings about what I observe and live in tournaments or matches that I watch. What I share now is not meant for teaching anything to anyone. My feelings to share the experience that I have lived, are so strong and they helped me so much that I'm going to let them flow out with humility and respect in case someone might be interested to hear it.

This afternoon I had the pleasure or gift to be able to go to a tournament with two players “I train”. Before the match the three of us were together and we spoke about things that would be useful to help us grow as players and also as people!! In both cases it was two things; the first and the priority was to play and be with respect and acceptation towards themselves each moment and to speak to themselves with affection no matter what. The other thing was a technical and tactical matter that we agreed would be the most logical to continue with, in the match today. It was amazing to watch them play with LOVE towards themselves in the form of Respect and Acceptance!! I want to point out that this doesn’t mean that they didn’t play with intensity or wish to win the point, the game and the match, since it's one of the reasons why one plays.

It gets distorted so much, to play with Respect and Acceptance towards oneself doesn’t mean playing without desire, intensity and passion that it’s a pity that it gets confused so much… I have seen other players that were playing in the tournament and in general (it's not necessary to say it because we have all seen it in tournaments on a daily basis) we see suffering, frustration, rage… and not only that, these emotions are useless for anyone who wants to learn and improve. One who is in Harmony and Calm can develop or learn any activity, in this case tennis.

One of the players that I observed (played against one of the guys I was with) was speaking to himself negatively, but halfway through the second set the level of negativity towards himself went up considerably ….(if you allow me to share what he was saying, and even though it might sound strong, in reality this is normal for many players who are trying to be professional)… You are crap, son of a bitch and the worst one was, I'm a useless piece of shit… If only he would know the human being he is…

Some of you may not understand what I'm going to share, I'm not trying or pretending to make you understand or understand me, but witnessing this tremendous punishment that he was inflicting on himself and what he felt towards himself, I felt an immense Love and empathy and compassion that my eyes became watery to give place to some tears that were charged with LOVE towards this person and all others that live in the same way and unfortunately there are many people who live in this way….and those moments that I lived 25 years ago came back to me, moments when I even wished not to live…..some people that see this may think that what I share is an exaggeration or maybe they wish that they never saw this so that they could continue to believe that this LOVE thing is stupid and that it doesn’t fit with professional sport or even in normal daily life…. To all of them, I give MY FULL RESPECT and the maximum amount of LOVE….
But in saying that it is something very serious how a Human Being treats oneself and according to how he treats himself it has an effect on the life he makes for himself. Some believe that if you play tennis or other competitive sport with LOVE that it`s not possible to do it with intensity, desire, courage, resistance… I would have loved to have had the present to see both players in the match run, hit the ball, sprint to drop shots or pump himself up but from the base of Respect towards themselves and towards others around them even though on occasions things happen that one doesn’t like, for example a big mistake in a match or a bad understanding between a ball mark of the other player.

LOVE doesn’t mean to be soft and empty of energy, force and desire.

LOVE is to Respect oneself and to Accept oneself at all times and especially in the moments when things don’t work out how you would like them to. It is the ability to continue in Harmony to the next point having learnt from what happened instead of using the time after a “mistake” to disrespect and insult yourself and not to see why the “mistake” occurred.

And I put in inverted comas “mistake” because a mistake is the door that proceeds a new opportunity to learn. But in order to open this door one must open it with the key of LOVE (Respect and Acceptance)

It`s hard for me to observe somebody insult themselves or others, or cheat in order to win at all costs, to cry in frustration, to speak badly and sometimes fight with themselves over what they didn’t do well after the match, one sees this as “normal” and it's so common that it becomes normal. 

On the other side having finished a match after losing and to leave the court and receive a hug full of LOVE affection and Respect should be normal…. .to listen to him and to speak to him with empathy and understanding with Respect Affection and LOVE is seen as something abnormal and even labeled absolutely crazy at times……

Imagine a world full of crazy or loony people!!! It would be amazing in my opinion!!!
Lets start to be a little crazy with ourselves with LOVE Respect and Acceptance to ourselves!!
In the end we don’t need to do or achieve things so that others give compliments to us or respect or accept us more.

We give LOVE to ourselves and this Respect and Acceptance we will have for ourselves and besides that it will be true and not false respect. It's false to receive respect or compliments if we win and then negativity if we lose.

With all my affection and Respect to you, if you would allow me to send you a Huge Hug full of Respect Affection and LOVE no matter what you do!!!